"A Catalog of Errors"

A mostly crappy week for BFS sides, Frank Lampard beats Steve Bruce in the sack race and a new interpretation of the offside law. Plus BFS housekeeping tips.

A particularly crappy week for Newcastle, the only side to lose two league matches during the week.  The fact that, other than Aston Villa, the Magpies were the only team to have two league matches is beside the point.  Saturday was the Fillebrown derby between Newcastle and Aston Villa which we watched together via Zoom.  This one would best be described as a "routine win" for Villa.  Goals at 13 and 42 minutes were more than sufficient.  For Newcastle, it was a better quality loss.  They actually had 40% possession and a shot on target.  But a loss nonetheless.  I believe one of the announcers labelled it a "catalog of errors."

Saint-Maximin - the only thing standing between
 Newcastle and relegation?

Right back at it again on Tuesday against Leeds.  Continued improvement yet there they were, down 0-1 at 17 minutes.  The Magpies were much better after the break and when Callum Wilson made the deftest of touches to send Almiron in on goal to level things at 57 minutes, there was even some thought they could grab all three points.  Easy there, Sparky.  A mere four minutes later they were behind again.  The introduction of Allan Saint-Maximin at 64 minutes raised both our spirits and the prospect of an equalizer.  Didn't happen but this was easily the best they played, well, since ASM went down with covid.  The team's performance in that 30 minutes was probably enough to keep Bruce around at least through the weekend.  Especially given how it's clear that the team has been operating without their best offensive weapon for a few months now. 

BFS Sides Fare Poorly in Matchweek 20

We already did the post mortem on Newcastle.  Aston Villa celebrated their big derby win by coughing up the lead twice before eventually falling 2-3 to Burnley.  This is the first time all year that the Villans scored first yet did not win.  Villa had pushed the Clarets all over the place but failed to convert multiple opportunities.  Man United didn't do themselves (or Newcastle for that matter) any favors in a 1-2 defeat to Sheffield United.  Spurs completed the slam with a flat performance against a Liverpool side that had struggled to even put the ball into the net in league matches; the 3-1 win for the Reds looked entirely deserved.

Akinfenwa gives new meaning
 to the term target striker

Consolation to those sides include that Villa got the win over Newcastle, Man United has a stirring 3-2 win over Liverpool in their FA Cup match (best viewing of the week?) and Spurs eased past Championship Division Wycombe in their FA Cup tie.  We'll make the Bruno Fernandes game winning free kick for United this week's  YouTubeableMoment; yeah, that's quality.  The Spurs contest provided us with our annual glimpse of BFS fave Adebayo Akinfenwa, the Charles Barkley of the EFL (see picture right).  In the Man City close call versus Cheltenham, we also got to see current Forest Green loanee Taylor Harwood-Bellis in action for the Cityzens; the fact that he left the match with the score 0-1 and City then scored three goals after his departure should not be taken as a statement on his quality.

There was no consolation for Newcastle, except maybe that ASM is healthy.

Well That Didn't Take Long

Within days of the offside incident in the Man City Aston Villa match (discussed here last week), we had a new interpretation of the offside law.  Guidance to match officials now includes: 

“Where a player in an offside position immediately impacts on an opponent who has deliberately played the ball, the match officials should prioritise challenging an opponent for the ball, and thus the offside offence of ‘interfering with an opponent by impacting on the opponent’s ability to play the ball’ should be penalised.

“However, it is important to remember that where a player in an offside position receives the ball from an opponent who deliberately plays the ball (e.g. a misplaced pass or miskick), including by deliberate handball, the player is not considered to have gained an advantage, unless it was a deliberate save by any opponent.”

This helps in the specific situation we saw but still leaves some other distasteful (at least IMHO)  possibilities.  For example, on a cross into the box, suppose a defender rises up and heads the ball in an attempt to clear it but instead heads it towards the goal to an attacker standing in an offside position, who promptly deposits the ball into the old onion bag.  As I read the new interpretation, that goal would stand.  Oh well, a little progress is still good I guess.

Meet the New Boss (apologies to The Who)

Same as the old boss?  Somewhat surprisingly to me, Frank Lampard got sacked after a 3-1 FA Cup win over Luton Town.  I figured he had at least until the Spurs match next week.  Abramovich just doesn't have that much patience.  His replacement is Thomas Tuchel, a German late of Paris Saint-Germain.  So how'd that go?  A 0-0 draw at home to Wolves is not exactly what they were looking for.  True, many of the stats favor the Blues but expected goals was still less that 1.0 so the performance couldn't have been that great.  

Why Don't They Have Cleaning Shows?

Cable TV is full of cooking shows but what about cleaning?  Nothing.  I offer the following guidance on how to get the house cleaned while still getting in maximum EPL viewing.  Let's assume that it's Saturday and there are four matches - 7:30, 10:00, 12:30 and 3:00 and that they are on NBCSN or NBC so DVR is an option; assume the wash cycle is 45 minutes, dryer cycle is 70 minutes.  The schedule would look something like this:

• 7:30 - Watch first half of early match while eating breakfast
• 8:20-8:35 - Put first load of laundry in at halftime
• 8:35-9:25 - Watch second half
• 9:25-10:00 - Put first load of laundry in dryer and start second load; do breakfast dishes
• 10:00-10:50 - Watch first half of 10:00 game
• 10:50-11:05 -Take first load of laundry out of dryer, put second load in dryer, start third load
• 11:05-11:55 - Watch second half of 10:00 game
• 11:55-12:30 - Clean down stairs bathroom (or vacuum living room) and fold first load of laundry
• 12:30-1:20 - Watch first half of NBC feature match
• 1:20-1:35 - Take second load of laundry out of dryer, put third load in dryer
• 1:35- 2:25 - Watch second half of NBC feature match
• 2:25-3:00 - Clean two upstairs bathrooms (or vacuum kitchen, dining and TV rooms)
• 3:00-3:50 - Watch first half of late afternoon match
• 3:50-4:05 - Take third load of laundry and fold second and third loads of laundry
• 4:05-4:55 - Watch second half 

Of course I kid.  Some weeks there is no vacuuming or bath room cleaning.

No Let Up

Two more match weeks crammed into five days.  We call your attention to Arsenal - Man United, Saturday's NBC feature match at 12:30.  Other good one looks like Chelsea - Tottenham on Thursday at 3 pm.  And surprisingly, West Ham vs Liverpool is 5th vs 4th on Sunday at 11:30 on Peacock.  Liverpool are favored but the Hammers haven't lost in six.  

Newcastle have a tough road match at Everton (7:30 Saturday), then a home match Tuesday with Crystal Palace that offers the hope of maybe a point.  Aston Villa have two difficult tests coming on the heels of the Burnley loss - at Southampton (3 pm Saturday) and home to West Ham (Wednesday 3:15).

West Brom are looking at their best chance to make a move to avoid relegation with matches against Fulham (Saturday 10 on Peacock) and Sheffield United (Tuesday at 1 pm).  Of course their rivals are thinking the same thing.  We can hope that Brighton will not catch Newcastle this week no matter what the Magpies do since the Seagulls have Tottenham on Sunday (2:15 on Peacock) and Liverpool on Wednesday (3:15).  

At the top, Man City is looking at a relatively easy six points in Sheffield United (Saturday at 10 on NBCSN) and Burnley on Wednesday at 1.  Third place Leicester is in almost as good a position with a home match versus Leeds ( Sunday at 9 on Peacock) and on the road at Fulham on Wednesday at 1 pm. In addition to Arsenal, Man United will need to be careful when they host Southampton on Tuesday at 3:15.  Everton could also re-insert themselves into the picture with matches versus Newcastle and Leeds.

Of course, the way the form sheet has been taking a beating this year, maybe none of this will play out as expected.