That's Entertainment

apologies to The Jam

If you weren't entertained in some way by last week's results you either 1) need to choose a different sport (may we suggest curling?) or 2) are a Man United fan.  Seriously, between the Union's playoff win and the spate of surprising EPL results, that was one of the more captivating weekends of football in recent memory.

Pandemonium!

What victory looks like

Oh hell, let's just skip to the end of the Union playoff match with NY Red Bulls.  In the 123rd minute of a scoreless match, seconds away from a dreaded shoot-out, Jakob Glesnes launched an unlikely shot that beat one of the better keepers in the league to send the Union on to the next round.  No question Glesnes's blast is this week's (year's?) YouTubeableMoment.  Want another angle? Check out this one from the stands right in front of the play.  The best soccer moment I've ever experienced live.  Well, except maybe when Masterman beat Bartram in the City semi-final in 2005.  

Of course, the context of the goal was as critical as the quality of the strike.  We knew that this match would not be pretty given how the two teams play.  And mostly it wasn't.  The Union had several good chances in regular time and at least one in extra time.  The Red Bulls also nearly scored in the first extra time period, although we question whether the goal would have withstood VAR review for offside.  But as the second overtime period was winding up, all I remember is the sinking feeling that the match was going to be decided by kicks from the penalty spot.  So the outpouring after the goal by Glesnes might have been as much relief as joy.  But so what?  Great stuff either way.

The Nightmare the Union Avoided

Tuesday night we got a glimpse of the alternate reality that the Union could have experienced Saturday. Second seeded Seattle pretty much bossed seventh seed Real Salt Lake for 90 minutes of regular time and another 30 minutes of extra time but could not break through.  So they went to kicks from the spot.  Seattle looked to have gained the advantage when Stefan Frei stopped Pablo Ruiz, except Frei had come off the line too soon and Ruiz didn't miss the retake.  RSL's keeper David Ochoa stopped Seattle's sixth kick so when Justen Glad made his, Seattle exited the playoffs.

I did see the two other Eastern Conference playoff matches but memories are hazy.  I recall two kind of strange goals at Yankee Stadium as NYCFC downed Atlanta 2-0.  The Nashville - Orlando game ended 3-1 but felt closer than that.  Probably because Orlando had more possession.  

Quinn Sullivan Does Have A Drivers License

BFS can confirm that at least one of the Union's teenagers is in fact able to drive himself to the matches.  Quinn Sullivan's mom and her sister-in-law were sitting behind me and Graham on Saturday and she said that Quinn had gotten his license just before joining the Union.  Her sister-in-law also knew the answer to the question "What has 18 legs and three drivers licenses? "  The correct response, of course, is the Union bench.

Second Best Result

Saint Maximim displays gymnastic celebration
Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images

I had some expectation that Newcastle could get a result at home against Brentford.  Lascelles early goal validated that feeling.  Ivan Toney's goal 67 seconds later snapped me back to reality; still not sure how Darlow didn't stop that shot.  The Bees went up after Newcastle left an attacker unmarked at the far post.  Joe L Linton managed to even things up shortly before the half.  The Magpies fell behind again on a shot that deflected off Lascelles for an own goal.  Fortunately, sub Ryan Fraser sent an awesome cross into the box that Allan Saint-Maximim deftly volleyed in for the equalizer.  Newcastle had great attacking energy so a game winner wasn't out of the question.  On the other hand, they were experiencing what The Guardian would later call "jaw dropping defensive lapses" so a game loser was also on the table.  For better or worse, it ended 3-3.  Exciting match.

On balance I thought Newcastle were the better side tripped up by their own mistakes and some bad luck.  The good news was that there was life to the effort.  At no point did I get the feeling that Newcastle couldn't rally, a far cry from earlier this season when a one-goal deficit was insurmountable.  Also, we saw new life in Joelinton and Shelvey; is it possible that Eddie Howe can get those two contributing at some reasonable level?   Of course, the bad news is that they had to rally several times just to get a draw.  Darlow was not at his best and I wouldn't be surprised if Dubravka is between the pipes this Saturday.  We may need also need support at center back and wing back; that's what the January transfer window will be for.

That Is Newcastle All Over

There are two ways to do things.  The right way and the Newcastle way.  New manager Eddie Howe was unable to be on the field for his first match after testing positive for COVID-19.  Dennis notes that while there is nothing funny about the disease, that is "pretty hilarious."  

A League of Their Own?

Chelsea, Man City and Liverpool played three good squads in Leicester, Everton and Arsenal.  They beat them by a collective 10-0.  All three matches were basically devoid of suspense.  That said, we did enjoy this goal from Christian Pulisic; great vision for the run, not so great first touch, but he somehow recovered to get the ball into the net.

Way too early to say this but these three look different than the rest.

Surprises Elsewhere

Maybe not much fun at the top of the table but plenty of weird stuff the rest of the way down.  Norwich got their second straight win, besting Southampton 2-1.  Burnley grabbed a point at home against Crystal Palace; that's not terribly surprising, except that the score was 3-3, a big number for a team that went in averaging a goal a game.  Wolves derailed the West Ham train with a 1-0 win at Molineux; we were happy to see Raul Jimenez get the game winner and happier that he did his scoring against someone other than the USMNT.  

Gerrard after Watkins goal; I love this game!!!

Though Tottenham's win over Leeds wasn't unexpected, this was a strange contest.  Spurs were awful in the first half and fully deserved their 0-1 deficit after 45 minutes.  We would like to know exactly what Conte said to rally his club because Spurs were totally different in the second half, dominating play and grabbing two goals to take all three points.  Likewise, Aston Villa's 2-0 win over Brighton was certainly not out of the blue.  Playing for new coach Steven Gerrard, the Villans ceded possession for much of the match without giving up serious chances and then tucked away two goals of their own in the final 10 minutes.  

The weirdest result with the perhaps the greatest consequences was Watford's 4-1 trashing of Man United.  Already down 1-2, Maguire got himself sent off with a second yellow in the 69th minute.  The Hornets didn't take immediate advantage but they did manage to put two more away in stoppage time.  Speculation immediately turned to when, not if, Solskjaer would get sacked.  He didn't make it to Sunday brunch.  Michael Carrick took over for the Champions League win (?!) over Villareal but as of this writing it looks like Ralf Rangnick will take over as interim manager for the rest of the season.  I will confess to knowing nothing of Rangnick so I found this article helpful.  Money quote:

It doesn’t matter how talented a player is, if the mentality is shit, forget about it.

BTW, the end result of all the weekend's weirdness is that Newcastle sit at the bottom of the table, two points behind awful Norwich and five points from safety.  

Not Your Son's Leicester

Nobody's doing much against Chelsea this year so Leicester's home loss to the Blues wasn't unexpected.  But this one wasn't close at all and the 0-3 final somewhat flatters the Foxes.  After five top 10 finishes in the last six years (including two consecutive 5th place finishes the last two years), this Leicester side isn't in the same category.  With four wins and three draws through 12 matches, they sit 13th in the table.  Based on their expected goals, it looks like they are exactly where there should be; that is, I don't see a streak of bad luck here.   For the last two years they've been around 1.8 goals per game while this year they are down to 1.3 per game.  I don't know what's going on there but it ain't like the good, not-so-old days right now.

Conversation That Could Have Taken Place and Did

Steve (after Watford 4-1 win over Man United): Surely Ole Gunnar does not survive this

Michael: Agree, he's gone.  And please stop calling me Shirley

Much To Be Thankful For

There's a full EPL slate this weekend plus mid-week bonus fixtures on top of a four MLS conference semi-finals.  

Biggest on the agenda is the Union hosting Nashville in a conference semi-final Sunday at 5:30 (ESPN).  The Union are favored but this figures to be close.  They traded home 1-0 wins in the regular season.  Remember that Nashville were missing a few key players in the loss to the Union in October, notably key attacker Hany Mukhtar.  I haven't been able to find out the status of Monteiro and Mbaizo, who both missed the Red Bulls match due to "Covid protocols."  A winnable match but by no means a sure thing.

Sporting KC will host Real Salt Lake on Sunday at 3 pm and NYCFC travels to New England for a 7:30 match on Tuesday.  The West's number one seed, Colorado, fell Thursday to Portland on a late goal.

The EPL weekend starts with a classic BFS horror show, Newcastle traveling to face Arsenal.  Sure, I 'll get up at 7:30 (NBCSN) to watch the Magpies get the crap beat out of them.  I'm surprised that 538 only has that at 57% vs 20% (23% chance of draw) in favor of the Gunners.  Anything less than a 3-0 loss will be a good day.  

Three to choose from at 10 am.  I'm going with Crystal Palace vs Aston Villa on Peacock.  I know Palace haven't lost in their last seven and they've beaten some quality sides.  But they've also drawn with sides like Newcastle and Burnley.  I will be disappointed if Villa doesn't grab at least one point here.  Your other choices are Liverpool vs Southampton (USA) or Norwich vs Wolves (NBCSN).  Saturday finishes with an odd pick for the NBC feature match - Brighton vs Leeds.  On second thought, this might be fun to watch even if it doesn't have a big impact on the table.

Sunday the schedulers have done us no favors, cramming four matches in at 9 am, on Peacock no less.  We will probably go with Burnley hosting Spurs; I'm having a hard time understanding 538's projection of 37%/37%/26%, suggesting either side has a 37% chance of winning, with a 26% of a draw.  Really?  Of course, I did just see Spurs lose to Mura 1-2 in Europa Conference League action.  Other 9 am choices are Leicester - Watford, Brentford - Everton (Bees favored?!), and Man City hosting West Ham.  That last one on paper is 2nd vs 4th but does not offer the prospect of a close match; this will be a test of my earlier point (see A League of Their Own above).  The EPL weekend closes with a fascinating match up at 11:30 - Chelsea hosting Man United.  Curiosity alone will get me to tune into that one.  Recent form says no contest but Man United will be performing for their new manager.

In the interests of time, here's the full slate for Matchday 14 covering 11/30-12/2.  I haven't seen a TV schedule for these matches.  Other than that, I will only say that Newcastle's match with Norwich is really scary - if we can't get a result at home against the Canaries, we are the worst.