Ball Boys Lead Newcastle to Win Over Chelsea

Busy week, much to comment on.


Don't Have A Cow,  Man

Newcastle instructed the ball boys and fans at St. James' Park to deliberately delay returning balls to the pitch in a devious plot to shorten the match and frustrate first place Chelsea on Saturday.  They also put a cow on the field.  The negative tactics worked to perfection and Newcastle stole a 2-1 victory from the much more deserving Blues.  At least that's how Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho saw it.  If you think I jest, read this.  Okay, I lied about the cow on the pitch but Mourinho did put the issue on the table.  Wait, let me quote a comment I saw on YouTube.  "Six f***ing minutes of extra time against ten men and a rookie keeper making his first league [appearance]...and you're blaming the f***ing ball boys?!"  Yes Emily, he's still a douche...

Won't dispute that Chelsea had the run of play, dominating possession.  But in response, the Newcastle defense worked its collective tail off.  And fashioned two near perfect counterattacks that ended in Papiss Cisse goals - haven't checked but I think this was the first time a Cisse goal put the Magpies in the lead.  Newcastle also survived an injury just before half time to their second string keeper, which led to the debut of Jak Alnwick; he performed creditably enough though was probably at fault for the Chelsea goal.  The last ten 16 minutes were way more unnerving than they needed to be because of another brain fart (are they contagious?), this time by Steven Taylor, who picked up his second yellow in the 81st minute.  Chelsea scored on the ensuing free kick after Taylor's foul to make it 2-1 and kept the pressure on but couldn't level the match.  With these three points, the Magpies have basically exceeded my meager expectations for December.

This just in...Dennis obtained a clip on Mourinho's post-match press conference:

Aston Villa

For most teams in the league, scoring 25% of your 14-match season total in goals means cruising to victory.  For Aston Villa, that means scratching and clawing for two goals in the same game for only the second time all season.  In an even more unexpected twist, they both came from defenders.  Shortly after a gift from Guzan put Leicester in front, Clark managed to steer an open header into the upper corner and Hutton blasted home a volley from short range in the 71st (which was the Villans first goal after the 60 minute mark all season).  Some nervy defending, which was present for most of the game, sealed our second win in as many matches.  Villa has had three distinct seasons so far:  3-1-0 in the first four matches, 0-0-6 in the next six, and now 2-3-0 in the past 5.  Of course, the competition in those middle 6 was bit stiffer, but it was still the first 6 game scoreless losing streak in club history.  

The team certainly appears headed in the right direction.  Benteke is finding his groove (he had the assist on Hutton's game winner).  Delph and Vlaar [subject of transfer rumors, ruh-roh] could return as soon this weekend.  Our next opponent, West Brom, is certainly on the list of teams against whom we have a chance of earning a point.  With 19 points through 15 matches, we are more than halfway to the magical 36 point relegation boundary with 4 games to spare and I am quite content.


Around the League 

Enigmatic Liverpool couldn't manage a goal against Sunderland in a 0-0 draw at Anfield.  Stoke stunned Arsenal, going up 3-0 (almost 4-0 on a controversial offside call) before hanging on 3-2.  Tottenham - see Liverpool comment but substitute Crystal Palace for Sunderland and White Hart Lane for Anfield.  Lots of bubbles at Upton Park as West Ham handled Swansea 3-1; nice work by Andy Carroll and his "man bun."  Somewhat disappointing match at the Etihad, with the only goal a Toure PK in Man City's 1-0 win over Everton.  Southampton lost 2-1 at home to Man United, completing the ten day Trilogy of Failure which had previously included losses to Man City and Arsenal; the Saints are a good team but may not be ready to compete for Europe yet.


Champions League

Manchester City yes, Liverpool no.  For details, ask Michael B.


Farewell Landon

US legend Landon Donovan went out on top as his LA Galaxy outlasted the New England Revolution to take the MLS Cup 2-1 in added extra time.  And BFS had a man in the stands.  Our resident keeper expert Chris K scored himself a front row ticket and provided us with pictures.

The first half looked like both teams were dealing with nerves - sloppy passes, heavy touches, errant shots.  First half highlight for me was our hero, Landon Donovan, getting a yellow card for a reckless foul, then pointing skyward to suggest that his challenge was mistimed because the sun was in his eyes.  Second half was more entertaining though, again, not necessarily the highest quality.  Jermaine Jones executed a one-legged lunge, no twist (degree of difficulty 1.8) that should have earned him a yellow.  Zardes, who had been chewing up the right side of the Revolution defense all day, was finally rewarded with a goal in the 52nd minute.  Like Paul Revere's midnight right, this roused the slumbering Revolution into action and they took the run of play.  Tierney's goal at 79 minutes leveled what was turning into a more entertaining match.  Keane missed his chance to win it in regulation, as did Bunbery for New England, who hit the cross bar late.

And so they went to extra time.  Some chances for NE in the first half but nothing found the net.  Six minutes into the second half, Sarves saw a well-timed run from Keane and hit him with a long pass; Keane was cool on the finish and LA had what would be the winning goal.  Can't say it was a great performance from Donovan but it wasn't awful either and for me it was great to see him go out with another cup.

Your Weekend Five Day Forecast

Sleep late on Saturday my friends as there is no early match.  Chelsea hosting Hull at Stamford Bridge (where the ball boys are courteous and there are no bovines on the pitch) and Man City at Leicester look like mismatches.  Aston Villa has to be hoping for a point out of the Midlands derby, even on the road against West Brom.  Speaking of derbies, we have another Monday Night Basketball derby as Newcastle travels to London to face Luke and Michael P's Arsenal; this has been a less than satisfying fixture for the Magpies recently and a draw would be outstanding.  Sunday has Man United hosting a reeling Liverpool at 8:30 and Tottenham traveling to Wales to improve their fortunes against Swansea City in the 11 am match - beware of the ex-Spur Gylfi Sigurdsson!  And there's another Monday game - Everton vs QPR.

And we have midweek action with the quarterfinals of the Capital One League Cup.  Tuesday has Derby - Chelsea and Sheffield Utd - Southampton; Wednesday has Bournemouth vs Liverpool and another Monday Night Basketball derby in Tottenham vs Newcastle.