Why Newcastle Will Lose to Aston Villa

1. Recent form
Newcastle has lost three straight and won just once in their last six matches (18th worst in EPL over that time).

2. Lack of offense
Newcastle's attack has been anemic, except when they play 11 v 9.  They have scored:
           a) not once since Cabaye's departure;
           b) not once in over a month;
           c) once in all of 2014;
           d) all of the above.

3. Lack of defense
Coincident with the sagging offense, the Magpies have become sieve-like in their own half.  They have allowed 10 goals in last three matches, which can be blamed on Cabaye's departure only if you  believe the best defense is a good offense.

4. The match is at St. James' Park
Aston Villa play better on the road than at home; they have 11 points in 13 home matches, 17 points in 13 away matches.  Newcastle is the opposite, though not as pronounced - 18 points at home, 19 on the road.

5. Personnel issues
Coloccini and Tiote may not be back for the match.  For Aston Villa, Ron Vlaar (only EPL player named after an Ikea bookshelf) is at  full strength and will shore up the Villan defense.


Predictions
This has all the makings of a lackluster, uninspiring 0-0 draw that will be largely ignored, even by the players' families and friends, who will watch only out of a sense of obligation.  Except - DERBY! - so by definition it will be tense and riveting even if lifeless scoreless.

However, if Newcastle are behind in the second half, at least one fan will go on the pitch attempting to give his season ticket to Alan Pardew.  Even Villan manager Paul Lambert has suggested he hopes to use the Newcastle fans to his advantage; "Newcastle's crowd can become edgy," said Lambert, "we've got to try to get their crowd against them."