Score Like An Egyptian

Apologies to The Bangles

Marmoush: Salah's got nothing on me
AP/Martin Rickett/PA via AP

Newcastle were completely and quickly undone by a 14 minute hat trick by Man City's latest acquisition Omar Marmoush.  He comes to Man City by way of Egypt and Eintracht Frankfurt.  Marmoush netted goals at 19, 24 and 33 minutes and the match was effectively over at that point.  They added a late goal to make the final 4-0.  The Magpies generated an xG of a whopping .4, giving you an idea of how interesting this one was to watch.

History told us this would be rough.  Newcastle's last win there was a League Cup victory in October 2014; the last Premier League win was September 2000.  But there have been a lot of draws, right? No, just a pair in November 2006 and December 2005.  The record back to September 2000 is 2-2-20.

At Least We Were Supposed to Lose

Dennis and Brenna face the Birmingham press after
Ipswich held Villa to a 1-1 draw

Things weren't much better south in Birmingham, where Dennis and Brenna were on hand to see Aston Villa drop two points to 18th place Ipswich.  Actually, it's a little worse than that.  Ipswich played down a man from the 40th minute on and were actually up 1-0 until Ollie Watkins rescued a point for the Villans with a goal in the 69th minute.  

The kids were able to score tickets for the midweek match versus Liverpool and saw a much better contest.  Though the home side couldn't hold the lead, the 2-2 draw against the league leaders was very satisfying.  Too bad about the gift goal in the first half and Malen's near miss right at the whistle.

We'll get more travelogue from Dennis for next week's post.

El Crapico

Or the Dysfunctional Derby. Whichever.  Two of the more enigmatic disappointing sides of this season - Tottenham and Manchester United - met in London.  On the positive side, it was a tense, close match that Spurs won 1-0 on a decent early goal from James Maddison.  But don't confuse close with quality.  This did indeed look like two lower mid-table teams; to paraphase George Costanza it was like two old men fighting over soup at a deli.  Both Postecoglou and Amorim are still employed so we can say that no managers were sacked in the making of this match.

Damage to Champions League Cred

Newcastle weren't the only side to with a result that leads one to question their Champions League ambitions.  Chelsea lost to Brighton for the second time in 10 days.  The 2-1 loss in the FA Cup was bad enough but this one was a 3-0 thrashing that looked about right.  Both the Magpies and the Blues were passed by Bournemouth in the table after the Cherries got their 3-1 win at Southampton.  Nottingham Forest lost 2-1 away to Fulham but do retain 3rd place for the moment.  

Right now, only Liverpool and Arsenal (2-0 winners over Leicester) look worthy of Champions League berths.  Man City's win over Newcastle isn't enough for us to start talking them up, especially after a second loss to Real Madrid in this year's version of that competition.

The View at the Bottom

Ipswich was the only side in the bottom four to grab a point this weekend.  It's looking more and more like three sides vying for two spots.  Southampton, at 9 points look like toast.  Wolves are at 19 points,  while Ipswich and Leicester have 17; Wolves do have an advantage on goal differential right now too.  Those three still have matches against each other in April and May.

A Vote in Favor of New Champions League and Europa Cup Format

Those two-legged ties to earn a place in the final 16 of both Champions League and Europa Cup produced some good viewing.  Not PSG-Brest (10-0) obviously but how about Bayern - Celtic?  The Germans were expected to bury the Scots except stout defending (some of it from ex-Union player Austin Trusty) from Celtic left that match 2-2 on aggregate until Alphonso Davies got the game winner at 90+4.  Atalanta were expected to rally from a 1-2 deficit at home except Club Brugge made it 5-1 by halftime.  PSV trailed Juventus late but rallied to send the match into extra time, then got the game winner eight minutes into extra time.

We knew him when - Carranza nets the game winner 
for Feyenoord (AP Photo/Luca Bruno)

The best was Milan - Feyenoord.  Milan came home trailing 0-1 but were expected to show the Dutch how to play this game.  Indeed, they scored within the first minute.  That was it though.  Part of the problem was that Theo Hernandez got a second yellow at 51 minutes, which did us all a favor by making the final 40+ minutes a blast.  Feyenoord got the game winner on a picture perfect header by Julian Carranza, this week's YouTubeableMoment.  Yeah, that's the same Julian Carranza the Philadelphia Union will be seeking to replace this season.

The Europa Cup had some fun stuff too, like Roma - Porto (4-3 on aggregate for Roma) and Ajax versus Union Saint-Gilloise.  Check out this bicycle kick from Porto's Samuel Aghehowa.  [Side note: finding specific videos from Champions League and Europa Cup has been difficult so I've had to go to game highlights and have the video start from the particular play I want to feature.]

The round of 16 draws for both competitions are Friday at 6 am, which means that by the time you sit down to read this, the fixtures will be known.

What If They Had A League and Nobody Came?

Another season of the Apple Major League Soccer kicks off on Saturday and I am struggling to get interested.  No doubt some of this is due to the poor condition of our home side, the Phladelphia Union.  In my defense, I will note that I religiously followed Newcastle through some very lean years, including one in the Championship Division.  Perhaps a bigger part is that watching the games is difficult and/or impossible.  If Saturday night's home opener at Orlando was on any medium on which I could watch a replay of the match without seeing the final score, I would get to it later on Saturday night.  Thanks to MLS Season Pass, this can't happen.

Then there is the team.  The Union finished 12th last year.  Until this week, there had been no roster moves of any consequence.  Isn't 12th place a likely finish again?  Well, the MLS Experts had them 12th and Sports Illustrated 14th.  This week they did add Uruguayan striker Bruno Damiani, who does look like a promising addition.  But of course, the acquisition comes after the pre-season so Damiani will not have spent any meaningful time with the team before the season starts.  No word on whether there are visa issues.

We did re-up our season tickets so I will be at the home opener a week from Saturday. At least it won't be the hope that kills me.

Two For One

As if we haven't had enough mid-week football, this is a double match week so Monday again is our only off day.

Newcastle have Nottingham Forest at Saint James' Park on Sunday at 9 am and travel to Anfield to face Liverpool on Wednesday at 3:15.  Newcastle are big favorites versus Forest and that makes sense but recent form has been spotty enough to make me nervous about that one.  Zero expectations for the trip to Liverpool.  

Two best matches of the weekend are Aston Villa - Chelsea in the Saturday NBC feature match at 12:30 and Man City hosting Liverpool on Sunday at 11:30 on Peacock (oh yeah, they are definitely putting more of the big ones on Peacock).  Everton - Man United has interesting context in that they are 14/15 in the table and, as might be expected, Opta has that one as a tight match, with Everton slightly favored.

The midweek fixtures don't look all that enticing.  Tuesday I expect we'll go with Crystal Palace - Aston Villa, though the Brighton - Bournemouth match could be good.   If I wasn't watching Newcastle - Liverpool, I might look in to see how Nottingham Forest fare against Arsenal.  Thursday the only choice is West Ham - Leicester.  

Weather is threatening to break into the mid 50s next week but we'll get our outdoor activities in early.