Coach, I Forgot My Cleats

An all too frequent logistical headache for a youth soccer coach is to hear one of your charges tell you he's forgotten his uniform/cleats/shinguards/etc.  That is followed by calls to home, rummaging through other players' bags for extra items, or figuring out which players are the same size and can share equipment.  Mostly what you do is shake your head and say they'll eventually grow up.

Which apparently for some EPL players is never.  Cut to about the 60th minute of Sunday's match between Manchester United and Southampton, with the score level at 0-0 (we won't get into how much of disappointment this match really was).  Southampton manager Ronald Koeman is ready to make a change, bringing on Serbian midfielder Dusan Tadic.  Except he's not ready.  He doesn't have his jersey or his shinguards.   Seriously?  A great U-14 moment for the 26 year-old.  An assistant coach fetches the requisite items and Tadic eventually makes it onto the pitch.

But Tadic's story this day does not end there.  In the 69th minute of the still scoreless match, he slips a brilliant pass to Pelle, who clangs the shot off the right post.  It rebounds directly to Tadic, who calmly left foots the ball into the net, so instead of the game winning assist, he gets the game winning goal.  But his day is still not finished.  Immediately upon scoring he removes his jersey to reveal a stunning set of six-pack abs.

Steve:  Well, he'll get a yellow for that
Mackenzie:  I don't care

A few days later I read that some feel he should get more than just a yellow for the "semi-nude sex act." (he really did pull his shorts down a little more than necessary...)

One last note on that match - it was the first win for the Saints at Old Trafford since Dennis was less than a year-old.  I don't think he remembers that one.


Defeats Good and Bad

Not the best of weekends for the blog favorites.  In fact, Newcastle's 0-2 loss to Chelsea at Stamford Bridge was about the least painful, mostly because it was expected but partly because the Magpies played reasonably well against a superior side.  Not so for Tottenham; don't see much redeeming value in the 1-2 loss to Crystal Palace.  Maybe a bit of a tough call on the PK but they still could have rallied or at least held on for the draw; Pardew scores his second come-from-behind win of the season over Spurs.  What to say about Aston Villa?  I'm sure Dennis has few good words to say about the 0-1 loss to Leicester, which included another red card for a Villian Villan.

There will actually be zero "good" words here, to match the level of "good" play against Leicester.  "Good" is not how I would describe anything related to Aston Villa right now.  Maybe "atrocious"?  How about "relegation-worthy"?  Or something along the lines of "so bad that I might be in London for the start of next season's premier league and am starting to hope Villa won't be playing a London team so I am not obligated to watch their frustrating impotence in person"?  Another match, another loss, no more goals (leaving them with 11(!) through 22 games), and one more red card to boot.    

I caught the Liverpool match against Sunderland from the Stadium of Yellow Cards (5 total).  Even with a man advantage against a weak side, Liverpool could only manage a 1-0 win; not a pretty match.  Arsenal was impressive Sunday morning, steamrolling over Stoke City, with Koscielny opening the scoring in the 6th minute.  Everton will be pleased with the 1-1 draw versus Man City - so will Chelsea.


Parenting Skills
From BuzzFeed:

4. Teach them that it is only acceptable to be impolite in in the presence of a rival football team.

Quick Look at Chester

Almost caught up to real time over the holidays.  Big win over Liverpool at home, surprise draw versus Newcastle at St. James' Park.  An annoying loss to Wolves.  As of 1/2/15 (in game time), we sit in third with 37 points, 14 behind Man City, 6 behind Chelsea but 3 ahead of Spurs.  May have pulled off some nifty work in the January transfer window; sold two little used players and picked up a 21 year-old Spanish speedster of a central defender by the name of Zebenzui Galera - we'll call him Zeb.



Transfer Rumors

Oh never mind, there's too many and there's no good news for Newcastle or Aston Villa.   Not true!  Delph is rumored to be staying on at Villa until at least the summer (read: the summer).  However, Lambert made some odd comments on the matter, saying essentially that transfer prices in January are ridiculously high.  If that is true, we should sell high, not let our best player walk for nothing.  Because nobody in Birmingham is fooling themselves, Delph is walking. Plus, they did sign this guy Gil from Valencia who might not totally suck.

The news for Newcastle is actually worse - the rumor is that they are purposefully delaying the naming of a new manager until after the window closes so they won't have to take any action.  That means they are willing to gamble that they'll get enough points to stay up, even if it means a steady slide down the table.

Not a rumor - Bony from Swansea to Man City.  Ouch.  He had more than a third of their goals.  At least the Swans got $38m to work with.

Not EPL but the Union re-signed Maurice Edu.  That seems like a critical step for this team.  Losing him would have been a sign that we really were going backwards.



We Know There Was FA Cup and Copa Del Rey Action
And it was probably exciting but we'll have to rely on our stringers.  I'm pretty sure Michael B is happy.


Things Are Not Looking Up

With Newcastle hosting Southampton (featured match on Saturday on NBC) and Aston Villa hosting Liverpool, there's no reason to think the weekend will bring good news.  Best match of the weekend looks to be Manchester City v Arsenal at 11 am Sunday morning from the Etihad.  Hot and cold Tottenham plays host to Sunderland - should be three but I said that last week.   Man United travels to London to face QPR and Everton takes on West Brom at Goodison Park; reasonable chances for points for MUN and EVE.  And league leader Chelsea travels to Wales to meet Swansea.

Even if the Magpies season is about to turn into a five-month long car crash, I can't turn my eyes away...